Friday, January 24, 2014

Our Morning

6:00am- Claire wakes up screaming as though she's being slaughtered, apparently needing to use the bathroom that early in the morning is a frightening experience (I concur). 

6:00am- Kate decides that she needs out of bed too, I mean, it's only fair.

6:01am- I decide that I am in no way ready to start my day so Claire gets back in bed, Kate comes to bed with me. 

6:02am- I immediately regret my choice after experiencing a massive blow to the face courtesy of my darling, not sleepy daughter. 

6:15am- Apparently not sleepy was a false assumption because Kate is passed out.... then I must have to because..... 

7:30am- "MOM?!?! CAN WE PLEEEEASE GET UP NOW?" 
(quick glance at light coming from window. Crap. I've overslept.)

7:35am- I realize that Sean never finished his musical instrument project that was due today because we watched Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 instead, because I'm awesome like that. 

7:37am- Cheerios are poured, Seans decorating his drum, kids are eating away. 

7:40am- I realize something is not right with this scene...Oh that's because I forgot to wake Nate up. Seriously?

7:41am- "NATE!!! TIME TO GET UP!!! WE'RE LATE!!!!" ..."no"..... "GET UP! SERIOUSLY!!" ....."no"...... Back and forth a few times. Eventually he did get up, and eventually my throat did stop hurting from yelling. 

7:47am- I break up a weirdly delayed fight that broke out 3/4 of the way through breakfast once it occurred to Claire that Sean was sitting in her chair. 

7:50am- Kate throws her entire bowl of Cheerios and cranberries across the kitchen. 

7:50am- I make (the worst) lunches (ever).

7:53am- I swallow an Excedrin for breakfast. 

7:54am- I help Nate brush his teeth because he says teeth are annoying and he wishes he didn't have any anyways. -let it be noted that I stepping in a mystery puddle upon entering the bathroom in my bare feet. 

7:55am- I grab clothes for boys to get dressed. 

7:56am- Nate says he's never going to school again because he hates long sleeves and declares that he has an overall disdain for this house in general. 

7:57am- Sean gives me a huge hug and tells me he loves me, presumably because he can see the crazy about to boil over. 

7:58am- The boys gloves are missing since a certain teenage brother is nocturnal and chooses to do laundry at midnight and has relocated the gloves I placed on the washing machine to an undisclosed location. 

7:59am- Finally, boys off to the bus stop. 
.....I stand there watching them walk down the street like I do every morning...tick-tock, tick-tock..... Nate is S L O W and it is some kinda cold.  

8:03am- Somebody (who shall not be named because no one will admit to the crime in question) broke Kate out of her chair. 

8:04am- Kate had a party all by herself, the main fun consisted of dumping the 4 full cups of water and milk that had been left on the table by 4 naughty older siblings. 

8:05am- I admit total defeat and start cleaning up the milky mess, think I feel tears.

8:07am- I beg Danny to please put pants on. 

8:08am- I chase Danny with the pants, still begging. 

8:10am- I watch as Kate uses her chubby baby fingers to stuff her discarded cheerios down the heating vent.

8:11am- Nate and Sean come back home with bright red faces. "Schools closed Mom! Why would you make us go when it's too cold for school?!"

8:12am- I look up the news and yup, there's a dangerous wind chill and school is in fact closed due to the cold. 

8:13am- I hang my head in shame. 

8:14am- The kids announce that they are going to spend the whole day playing musical instruments in honor of Seans missed presentation with his homemade drum. 

8:15am- I am over feeling bad for sending them off into the tundra and considering sawing my own ears off with the knife I had to relocate earlier because Kate was grabbing at it on the counter because the band the kids have started is the most unholy kind of loud. 

(sigh. deep breath. sigh) 

The End. 
Oh.... No wait... it's NOT over.... Because it's 9am and I still have the entire day ahead of me..... 


1 comment:

  1. I laughed all through this post!!! I so understand mornings like this!! I hope you got a nap in!!

    ReplyDelete