Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sean and his last day

I can remember last year at this time, quite vividly, having a conversation about Nate finishing preschool and going off to kindergarten. When asked if I was sad, my reply was an overwhelming no, along with the explanation that he was SO excited so all I could be was happy for him.
Well, fast forward a year to Sean's last day (today) and I am sad. I have no idea why I'm sad this time when I wasn't last time. And yet here I am, all gloomy that my baby will never walk through the doors of his preschool as a student ever again.

We have been at this school for 3 straight years now and were on the path to spend like 6 more. Not many people have the opportunity to spend almost 10 consecutive years in preschool. But we've made the decision to switch schools and the new school has their own preschool. I don't know if it's the idea that we won't be returning to this particular school that's making me feel so down, or if it's that Sean still feels so young to me. Either way, I felt like Nate was old enough... to me, Sean still feels like he's 3.
Is he really 5? 
When did this happen? 
Was I even watching as he went and got so big? 
I am so busy with just surviving that it's not often I take the time to have mushy mom moments. Can't say that I like this feeling of total mom desperation. I am almost in a panic thinking to myself how can I possibly just keep him in preschool? What could I do to keep him trapped in his tiny 5 year old body forever? But then when I reread that statement, I find my answer. He would be trapped, and no mom wants their child to be trapped. They want them free to run, grow, explore, and experience. 

So, as hard as it is for me to stand back and be happy for him today, that's exactly what I'll do. I will be happy for him because he is happy for himself... and in the end, isn't that all that matters? 
Thank you Sean for always being such a good boy in preschool. You are a such a kind soul and you are so appreciated by all of your friends. I love that I can't even remember how many times I have been approached by someone who said "are you Sean's mom? Oh we just LOVE him so much!" There is no better compliment than hearing that you are so well liked by the children who you spend you school days being so kind to. 
Happy last day of preschool buddy...
Your friends love you, and we certainly do too! 


3 comments:

  1. Aw, cute kids!!!! I know what you mean. Why is it so hard to watch them grow up sometimes?? It's like being pulled in two different directions- excited for the next step, but then it also hurts cause you see how life flies by. And you know that finding stuff in the toilet will soon be days of the past… and that is also kind of sad. :)

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  2. How sweet. My little girl still isn't even close to preschool, but I often find myself amazed at how fast she's growing. Perhaps the pregnancy hormones help me out, but just today I was rocking her for a nap and getting wistful thinking about how little she used to be and how long and dangling her legs are now. Glad your little fellow's a happy preschool grad!

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  3. I think I was more upset about my 2nd too.. I just wasn't ready for it! I think I prepared myself so much for the first, and then the 2nd took me off guard that his time was already here. So sad yet so exciting! A good reminder to live each day the best we can because it really does go fast!

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